[18+] Dirty Miss Piggy Jokes: One-Liners, Friend Roasts

Miss Piggy—the karate-chopping, glamour-obsessed, Kermit-pursuing icon of The Muppets—has always been more than just felt and foam. Since her debut, this porcine diva has embodied a brand of humor that’s part high-fashion fantasy, part unapologetic id. While the Muppets are famously family-friendly, the writers have never shied away from slipping in sly adult jokes that go right over kids’ heads .

From pork product puns that Piggy herself considers slurs to thinly-veiled references about her complicated romantic life, there’s a treasure trove of mature humor waiting to be unleashed. Whether you’re looking for a quick zinger, a roast for your inner circle, or something properly risque for adult ears only, these Miss Piggy jokes deliver the bacon.

⚠️ Disclaimer: This content is intended for mature audiences (18+) and contains suggestive humor. Proceed with caution and a healthy sense of irony.

Dirty Miss Piggy Jokes One-Liners

Perfect for when you need a quick porky punchline that lands faster than one of Piggy’s famous karate chops.

1. Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.
2. What’s Miss Piggy’s favorite bedroom position? The pork-pile.
3. Why did Miss Piggy get kicked out of the buffet? She kept hogging all the sausage.
4. Miss Piggy’s morning after text: “Thanks for the porking—MOI needed that.”
5. What’s the difference between Miss Piggy and a microwave? A microwave doesn’t moan when you put a Kermit in it.
6. Why does Miss Piggy always carry bacon-scented perfume? To attract the top frogs in the pond.
7. Kermit’s excuse for being late: “Sorry, the pork was backed up on the highway.”
8. What did Miss Piggy say when Kermit asked about her fantasies? “Pretentious? MOI?”
9. Why can’t Miss Piggy hold down a relationship? She’s afraid of Kermit-ment… but not afraid of Kermit-in
10. Miss Piggy’s Tinder bio: “High-maintenance ham looking for a frog who can bring home the bacon. Swipe right and prepare to be karate-chopped.”

Dirty Miss Piggy Jokes for Friends

These are perfect for roasting that self-absorbed friend or the one who’s perpetually in a dramatic relationship. Keep it playful, keep it porky.

1. For the drama queen friend: “You’re really hamming it up—are you taking lessons from Miss Piggy or just naturally this extra?”
2. When your friend won’t stop talking about their ex: “Leave it to Miss Pig-gy to keep bringing home the same rotten bacon.”
3. For the high-maintenance buddy: “You’re more demanding than Miss Piggy at a spa day—except at least she tips with karate chops.”
4. When someone’s being possessive: “Calm down, Miss Piggy. Not every frog in the room is worth a jealous squeal.”
5. For the friend who overshares: “TMI, Porky. Even Miss Piggy keeps some things between her and Kermit… and maybe the entire Muppet cast.”
6. Why did Miss Piggy’s friends stage an intervention? She kept treating her relationships like an all-you-can-eat pork buffet.
7. For the friend in denial: “Keep telling yourself you’re just ‘curvy’—Miss Piggy’s been using that line since 1976.”
8. What do you call it when Miss Piggy crashes girls’ night? A ham-bush.
9. For the fashion-obsessed friend: “You’re giving Miss Piggy at a sample sale—cute, but about to karate chop someone for the last dress.”
10. When your friend makes everything about them: “We get it, you’re the star—Miss Piggy called, she wants her personality back.”

Dirty Miss Piggy Jokes for Adults

Here’s where we go full ham. These jokes are strictly for adult audiences who understand that Muppet humor has always had a dark, dirty underbelly .

1. Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed. Miss Piggy asks, “Kermit, what are you going to do to my asshole tonight?” Kermit replies, “Rippit.”
2. Why did Miss Piggy’s last boyfriend convert to Judaism? He finally wanted an excuse to stop eating pork.
3. What’s Miss Piggy’s favorite dirty movie genre? Ham-ateur.
4. How does Miss Piggy like her Kermit? Ribbited for her pleasure.
5. What did Kermit say after their first night together? “I guess you really brought home the bacon.”
6. Why won’t Miss Piggy do reverse cowgirl? Because she never looks back on a good porking.
7. What’s the difference between Miss Piggy and a porn star? The porn star has less pig in her name.
8. Miss Piggy’s safe word: “Kosher.”
9. What does Miss Piggy call her sx tape? “50 Shades of Bacon.”
10. Why did Kermit install a soundproof pond? Because Miss Piggy’s oinks were waking the neighbors.
11. What’s Miss Piggy’s favorite position? Anything where she can still see the mirror.
12. How do you know Miss Piggy just had an orgasm? She karate chops the headboard and yells “HI-YA, MOI!”
13. What did Kermit say when asked about their sx life? “It’s a bacon-wrapped hell on earth.”
14. Why did Miss Piggy divorce Kermit? She found out he was ribbiting about her to the other Muppets.
15. What’s the most sensitive part of Miss Piggy’s body? Her ego… and her pork loin.

The Porky Punchline: Why We Love Dirty Miss Piggy Humor

The enduring appeal of Miss Piggy’s dirty jokes lies in the delightful tension between her prim, diva exterior and the unabashedly filthy wordplay she inspires. These jokes work because they subvert the childhood innocence of The Muppets while remaining true to Piggy’s character: loud, proud, and completely self-obsessed

Whether you’re sharing a quick one-liner at the bar, roasting a friend who’s being extra, or enjoying some properly adult Muppet humor after the kids go to bed, these jokes prove that bacon, ham, and pork puns will never go out of style. Just remember—tell them with confidence, deliver them with a hair flip, and always be prepared for a karate chop to the ego.

What’s your favorite dirty Miss Piggy joke? Share it in the comments—but keep it kosher. Or don’t. MOI doesn’t judge.